Marriage Therapy - Teaching success skills for teens

Anger Counseling: You have to pictures world at large as a vast ocean with awesome in its beauty and frightening in its power. Dream that you are the captain of a family-owned ship that is traversing the waters. The crew has been with you for over a decade. Within a short time, several members of the crew will leave the ship to pilot boats of their own.

The ship in this metaphor is your home, the crew your family. The co-captains are the parents in charge of preparing their teenagers for independence. What abilities will these adolescents need in order to sail the waters of the world safely?

Skills that are encapsulated by the acronym is "STORMS."

Self-care , Time management, Organization and cleanliness, Relationships ,
Money and finance and Stress management. 

Following are the brief description of each of these skills:

Self-care:

With the ending of adolescence your children will need to be capable of taking full responsibility for themselves. The most effective way to prepare them for this level of independent functioning is to gradually lessen your involvement in their daily lives and allow them to take the helm.

It is indeed difficult for maintaining the control by deciding everything for them which will stifle their growth, endanger their self-esteem and run the risk of alienating them. Your role at this stage will supervise your teenagers for making that they will stay the course.

Time Management:

This skill will overlaps with the previous one because it will be a utilizing time to meet one's needs is essential to self-care. Managing time well is evident, for example, when your teenager is able to awaken on time to meet the school bus, arrive promptly for appointments, and finish school projects before their deadlines.

A deficiency in time management will be caused by any number of factors beyond simple "laziness." The cause may be physical, emotional or neurological. Therefore, if you see that your teenager is consistently late or seems unmotivated to get things done on time, it may be a sign that your child needs help. Consider all possibilities and seek guidance.

Organization and Cleanliness:

You've already laid the groundwork for organizational ability by means of consistent and reliable parenting. In addition, you've probably spent many hours teaching your children to pick up their clothes and put their toys away. It is time to close the door to their rooms if your adolescents are too messy by your standards. In that way, you can keep the rest of the house organized and your relationship with your adolescent intact.

Relationships:

Teenagers will be involved in peer relationships which will still look to their parents for guidance. Parents and other important adults serve as role models for them. Take the opportunity whenever possible to validate your teenagers' feelings by communicating with them in a mature, respectful manner.

Your ability to listen to an adolescent's opinions, even when the latter are contrary to your own or seem to make no sense, will strengthen your relationship with each other. Adolescents will be skilled observers of what goes on in the house. Therefore, the way that you handle conflicts and disagreements with other members of the family demonstrates to your children what they might expect when they try to speak up. When you control your own emotions, you create a safe environment in which adolescents can express themselves.

Money and Finance:

Teaching one's teenagers will handle money means that they need money of their own to spend. They can acquire money through birthday and holiday gifts, weekly allowances or payment for completing chores. The goal is for them to realize that they are using their own limited funds rather than spending money from an unlimited source.

Another way for preparing your teens for future budgeting is through storytelling. When you relate your own financial struggles as a young adult you convey a true, first-person account of what it's like to live through lean times. They will learn best by hearing your stories and then drawing their own conclusions.

Stress Management:

Stress management will be an all-purpose skill which will be more useful in every area of life. Teenagers will lead a stress-free life. But adolescence is a time of tremendous changes, both internal and external. As a result of these changes, our adolescents expect more of themselves and we expect more of them as well. Higher expectations, in turn, lead to higher levels of stress.

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